Day: September 3, 2012

My review of Fifty Shades of Grey is here. While I found that barely tolerable, I found the two books below awful.

Fifty Shades Darker

In fandoms, there is a type of fanfiction called PWP or Porn Without Plot. Alot of this trilogy is basically that. Not much plot, character development, but there is a lot of sex. Surprisingly, I found the constant sexual scenes rather boring halfway through the book.

The beginning of the book quickly resolves the cliffhanger from the first part. All of this second book happens in one week. I don’t know why the author does not spread anything out, but it makes this novel unbelievable. It’s utter fantasy. I was glad when I finished it because I was actually quite bored for most of it.

I still disliked the murmuring, the glaring Britichisms (the use of rude alone), and Ana’s inner goddess and subconscious. Actually, I couldn’t really stand Ana by the end of the novel; she became another Bella Swan. I found her not three dimensional enough. She is too goody goody and implausible as a real character. It wasn’t believable or relatable. She only ever thinks about Christian and that’s it. It’s also unbelievable what happens to her over the course of one week. Predictable novel stuff, but ridiculous.

Also, Ana is dumb. She is not a smart cookie. She constantly asks questions to her own head. She’s slow and emotionally immature. Not as much as Christian, but enough.

All the characters are black and white except for Christian and even he got schmoopy in this novel. He did get some character development, but he was very mushy by the end of it. It was saccharine and frankly, tedious to read them just have sex every ten pages.

This is why I don’t like traditional romance novels where it’s all “I need you’s” and “I love you’s” and blah blah. I sound unromantic, and that’s not the case. I like romances which are more complex and real, which involve more than just two people declaring their love for each other constantly. I prefer ones where both partners grow, develop, love one another against all odds, but without being ‘us against the world’. Hey, it’s great if you have an all consuming love, but your life is more than that.

Ugh, I don’t look forward to the third book because I saw the ending of this one a continent away. In any case, it’s short (Edit: It wasn’t short since I didn’t see the page count) and it’ll be over soon.

Read on my Kindle August 27-28th 2012.

Fifty Shades Freed

So my masochism continues. I found Ana really boring and stupid in this novel. The girl has no major hobbies and very few goals.She spends almost every single thought about Christian. Also for a woman who is an editor, was an English major and as per Christian “most well read woman I know”, Ana doesn’t really have a great vocabulary or diction.

This book was so boring that I avoided reading it on my downtime at work. Usually, I love to read when I can find the time, but this… MEH!

The sex scenes were very redundant. Why oh why did she not get an American to edit this?

I notice that Christian gets his way a lot. They solved 90% of their problems through the same rehashed up sex scenes. They were overdependent on each other.

It was predictable because Ana continue to be stupid. I did genuinely like her for a moment when they had their first real fight. Then I lost respect for her when she saved the day. Sigh, as predicted.

I saw all the plot twists. I generally see a lot of plot twists in movies or books, but that’s fine because sometimes, you have fun along the ride. But for this book, it was not fun. It was mind-blowingly tedious.

I’m glad to be done! I should have stopped after the first book, but now I can laugh about the fact I read books two and three.

Read on my Kindle August 28th-September 1st 2012.

It is clear I am not a fan of these books. I have nothing against people who think the opposite. This was not the worse thing I have ever read, but it was a long journey of boredom for me. I don’t hate it, but I struggled towards the end. It also offers a poor view of people with fetishes, kinks, and girls who are English majors. Do I recommend this? No, but if you want to laugh and see why this book is the fastest paperback bestseller of all kind? Go right ahead. Just try not to buy it and get it from the library or a friend or something. I find it sad that a woman is going to the bank on this work. Also, I will probably watch the movie with morbid curiosity and also laugh.

Here are some other reviews of the trilogy which made me laugh:

Fifty Shades of Bad Writing
Jen Reads Fifty Shades of Grey