The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the wall of our own homes.
–Harold B. Lee
I am freaked out by my grades. I don’t look at them. As long as I am in good standing I am fine. I feel so pressured. I still get stressed even though I know this isn’t my life. I am more than my grades. It is the system. Grades are you. It’s subjective and so much more. Life is more than school, grades, a job, the things they sell, it’s darker, better, sweeter, more bitter and just more beautiful than that.
It has been misanthropic for me these days. I’m not as inspired so much so I’ve given up on 365 for now. Maybe for good. It was really difficult. I don’t want to show my face so it made things harder for myself. I was tired of it being an almost chore at the end of the day. I need to use the camera more. The weather has been crap today.
Stephanie and I talked a lot after class at her place which got me in trouble with Dad.
I did pilates and yoga yesterday. It was wonderful. The Pilates was a great warm up, and the stress relief yoga just felt so good. When I was falling asleep last night, I was incredibly conscious of my breathing and the rise and fall of my body with it. It helped me fall asleep I think. In any case, I marveled about how at one I was with my body like that. It’s so rare. I need my body to feel like that more often.
Additionally, I went offline earlier than I usually did yesterday, read, got a call from Sandy where we laughed a lot and talked of Star Wars, and read more Neverwhere. I was late for my morning class, but not very. It was good to read again and to be away from the computer. I love Galahad, but I love reading.
I want more.