Dreams Flippage

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.
— Elie Wiesel

apologia \ap-uh-LOH-jee-uh; -juh\, noun:
A formal defense or justification, especially of one’s opinions, position, or actions.

In my haphazard dreams last night, I was back at junior high visiting for this event involving sports and food. I was suddenly afraid I would see S, and I turned around and there he was playing basketball. His hair was wavy and longer than I’ve ever seen it. I did not want to be near him, and then I turned around and found myself colliding into his arms, and he held me. I was a bit annoyed and he realized who I was. I ran, and went hiding through the active classrooms. This is an absolute role reversal from all those other S dreams I’ve had wherein I’m often times fruitlessly looking for him. He isn’t even a real person since I don’t know. My brain makes him a huge symbol. What does it mean now that I want to avoid him rather than search for him? Of course, this makes me want to see him again as if he is some sort of old friend when he isn’t. I will admit that I rather dream about him than dreaming about guys I do know whom I am not attracted too. At least with S, I will not meet him so I am blissfully unaware of how possibly unattractive he can be to me. Ignorance since I seem to be really bad at picking guys to like based on first impressions. Anyway, I’ve been thinking of starting a real dream journal. We’ll see I guess. I was pretty lucid through the dreams too, but I did not change anything.

I received my first piece of mail from the postal box today, one week after I got it. It’s from Milwaukee, and it’s a very nice black and white picture of two panthers. Getting things in the mail do make me smile.

Distracting myself with my many hobbies.

Life is not that bad these days.

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