Catchup

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.
— E. B. White

It was an interesting night last night. I ended up hanging out with Galahad. Sir Gareth himself after nearly four years of not seeing him. Verdict: I’m still a bit enchanted. He is less of a pedestal in my mind. In some ways it makes me want him more and at the same time, less. More because he is still the same good guy, the type of guy I would love as a friend or as a partner. It is odd because I said to myself last night, “I want to have a son like him.” He makes me oldly maternal which probably isn’t so wise since I do have romantic inclinations for him. Would I have been more daring had he been single? Doubtful because I don’t know how to approach him. I ended up even hanging around the posse. It was the weirdest thing because Alexandra and I talked about them. I realized these were the guys I wanted to hang out with and date in high school. They are all tall, white, upper middle class, intellectual, and utterly, utterly dorky. I got a ride with them and their one solo female friend Meghan (who is uber cool too) to the ES Diner where I had poutine only for the sake of ordering something. I was actually spending time with the guys I had talked about four years ago. It was unexpected like all things are in my life it seems.

Brief as it all was, I am trying to think about what it means. Funnily enough, Patrick is less of a sex god than I remember. He was wearing a wifebeater the whole time and such a nerd. Oh goodness. I adore that whole group and wish I could be their friend, a member. In their wonderful clique and their wonderful manic dynamic. So manic and crazy. As for Gareth, I guess I am still a bit in awe. I was the whole time I was with them. It did maybe feel a bit like high school in the way that I wasn’t sure how to act. Yes, myself, but I didn’t what that was. Of course, I can’t wait to share with this Alexandra. I knew she had an exam so I left a message, but we did not manage to talk today. Not meant to be I guess, but it leaves me time to stew over it. Frankly, Gareth is as dreamy as ever. No wonder he pops into my dreams like once a year even after all this time. Honestly, this episode will just provide more pointless dream fodder in the future.

In other news, it was cold and mom and I walked around town doing errands. It started to freezing rain as we got home. I think I will have my first NON-white Christmas since moving to Canada. Frankly, what is the point of living here if I can’t even have snow in the only time it matters? Exactly.

We walked around a lot, and I’ve had more exercise this week than I’ve had in awhile I feel. This is good since I ate all he shortbread cookies my mom’s coworker gave us. My mother, god bless her, has bought two turkeys. I am baking with Liz and Emma tomorrow so that should be fun, and I am going to take a lot of photos too. I didn’t take any today, and I wanted to.

I hate freezing rain.

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