The future is fantasy

Mom asked me yesterday, “Are you afraid that you won’t be able to find a job after you graduate?”

I said nothing. We were wrapping won-tons, and I was too tired to be truly angry. I was not pleased with the conversation which displayed her perpetual paranoia about the world.

My life is more than money or jobs. What I’m more afraid of is being in a job that does not allow me to live to my potential. I am scared of being the 9-5er who ends up empty because their job does not make them happy. I am afraid of being stuck, of not growing, of not living.

These days I’m trying to not worry too much about that. I have resisted dreaming too much about the future; it’s tucked away at the back of my brain. The only thing I can do is live in the now and take it one day at a time.

The present is living.

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